This is a borrowed story but well worth it!!!
I just talked to a friend of mine that left her husband (of almost 10 years) because she met another man that gave her butterflies.
Check out this story…it’s a good one!
When she and her husband first got married things were new and fun and exciting (as they always are for us all). But after years and years of marriage things slowed down, life settled in, obligations took over… desires and attraction seemed to be dissipating for them both.
They didn’t have kids (yet) and their marriage was becoming “uneventful” (as she put it)…and she was in this place where there was “no reason to stay, and no real reason to leave”…until she met a man that gave her butterflies.
The problem is that after about 6 months of butterflies, reality set in…her (now ex) husband had moved on and started dating a new woman. And the man she left him for turned out to be nothing more than an attractive talker with “new moves” she hadn’t seen in a while. And now she’s alone…and contemplating her decision she made to leave.
At the end of the day…
She’s crying on the phone to me saying MAYBE their conversations weren’t as exciting as they used to be, but now she just misses having someone to come home to that listens to her work stories. Maybe it did feel tediously obligatory to have to do the grocery shopping, but now she misses shopping for two. Sure sex wasn’t what it used to be, but now she just misses knowing, when she eventually crawls into bed each night, that there’s another warm body laying next to her. And knowing that that body belongs to a man that actually loves her and cares for her, not just “wants” her.
The moral to the story…long lasting marriages are built on commitment, NOT butterflies. We all get butterflies when we first meet. All successful marriages have ONE COMMON denominator: a desire to stay committed. A successful marriage isn’t about walking in the door after work and feeling giddy cause your spouse is waiting for you. A successful marriage is about working through life together…YES even when you’re at that stage where there’s nothing exciting.
GROW UP. You’re not a toddler. You don’t need to be constantly entertained.
The truth is you probably STILL get butterflies, they just feel different for you too because they’re now wrapped in years of love, hope, commitment and determination for something greater than some adolescent need for giggling and twirling your hair.
Cheating on your spouse for someone that gives you butterflies just proves how childish you still are. “NO, you hang up”. “NOOOO you hang up”. “No, you first”.
Perhaps both of you should hang up, and then grow up, and get back to reality as an adult. Butterflies can last a life time…it’s up to you to recognize they just feel a little different for ADULTS that have personal growth, as opposed to teenagers that are feeling them for the first time.
You were once attracted to the sexy man on the motorcycle. Now you can’t stop staring at what a great dad he is. BUTTERFLIES.
You were once attracted to her smokin hot body, now you can’t stop thinking about how good she is to you and how well she takes care of you. BUTTERFLIES!
You were both adventurous thrill seekers…now you’re just thrilled to have a night on the couch with your kids watching Frozen. BUTTERFLIES!
See. They’re still there. They just feel different, because (as the goal should be) YOU are DIFFERENT!
If you’re still chasing those adolescent butterflies, I think you should probably contemplate your own personal growth. Perhaps you’re still just an adolescent that’s refused to grow up in other ways as well?
Just something to think about…
As far as my friend is concerned…she’s now doing everything she can to get her man back….because he’s the only man that’s ever given her anything sustainable PAST those butterflies!