Where to start?

Where do you start??                                                                                  Can also find me on Bloglovin’

You have to decide what bothers you the most and approach the subject with your partner when they are not busy, stressed or distracted. Offer to go for a walk or a car ride that way you have their undivided attention. Let them know tactfully that you have want to have an open and honest relationship and that you have something on your mind. You don’t have to be crude or brash, but let them know the whys. They are not mind readers and neither are you so stop trying to second guess everything.

Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone in order to get where we want to go. Are you happy with the rut you are in?? What do you want to change? Start out setting a small goal? What are some steps you can take in order to reach your goal?

Think about your partner’s feeling also. Do you want to be treated the way YOU are treating that other person? A lot of times we want things done our way and to hell with everyone else. Think about it for a moment. Do you want that person you are dealing with to give you the same attitude you are prone to giving them? It isn’t fair for us to treat others one way yet expect them to treat us another way. Unfortunately this happens all the time. Also be CONSIDERATE and remember it’s the little things that can go a long way.

Your words can either be a positive force that builds your marriage or a negative force that destroys it. Choose to speak words of life and be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not their biggest critic! Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Think about this…. (NOTE: this is just an example – I know now days that most of the females work outside the home – I do)

WIVES —— The husband works all day long so you can stay home with the kids. I know it’s also a job to be a stay at home mom BUT you are not having to clock in and out of a job and worry about being fired. SO when your tired husband gets home after a long day fix his supper! Yes, I know he has two hands and you have been dealing with screaming toddlers all day but it’s the considerate thing to do. You two are partners to one another and it’s time to step up to the plate! Rub his back, get him something cold to drink, and let him know how much you appreciate the hard work he does to support your family. He also need to come home to HOME and not a house. Keep it cleaned up and don’t nag him about what all you have to do and how bad you have it.

HUSBANDS —— We know you work hard all day and don’t get to see much pay because you have a family to support but remember that your wife is at home taking care of the house. If you have children then she has a full time job at home. Children are a job alone much less trying to keep everything picked up and supper cooked. By the end of the day your wife is usually frazzled and wore out. Treat her with respect – she is raising the next generation and doing her best to teach them right and wrong. Don’t harp on her for things she overlooked or didn’t get done that day. Ask her about her day. Let her know she is still beautiful and you appreciate the job she is doing taking care of the home. Also remember that she needs a break too. You work all day but you have a lunch break and break time where you can just chill. Think she gets that? Not much – If she does manage to get the kids down for a nap then she is cleaning and preparing supper. What can you do? Tell her you will watch the kids and for her to go take a long hot bath with a glass of wine. Trust me! A long UNINTERRUPTED bath is a pure luxury. Remember it’s the little things!!

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So you both work and have kids – you still have to take time for each other. Set a dinner date, so that you both can unwind and improve your relationship. Help each other with the little things and work together. You can’t have a great relationship if you are always battling each other.

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I’m not trying to paint a pretty picture and tell you it’s all roses and sunshine. Relationships are WORK but they are also an investment!  REMEMBER – Communicate!! Communicate!! Communicate!!

 

As always you are welcome to contact me with questions etc and can contact me here or at relationshipsthatrock@gmail.com

Until next time,

Amanda